Wrong Impressions: Biden Shocks Democrats – Picks Chris Christie as VP Choice

Joe Biden has shocked Democrats by selecting Chris Christie as his Vice-Presidential pick. Biden had been saying for months that he would select a woman as his running mate – leading to speculation that Kamala Harris would ultimately be the candidate who would be chosen –, but in a stunning turn of events, Biden has not only picked a male candidate, but a Republican one at that. “I’m delighted to be picked and welcome the chance to serve America and work with our future president, Joe Biden,” said Chris Christie. “I know it’s unusual for a Democrat to pick a …

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DOJ Approves the Termination of the Paramount Consent Decrees

The Department of Justice announced today their decision to initiate the process of terminating the Paramount Consent Decrees. The Decrees were decided in the Supreme Court case United States vs. Paramount Pictures, Inc in 1948, a decision that found the existing distribution system in Hollywood was in violation of US anti-trust laws. In effect, the Paramount Decrees stopped Hollywood studios from fine-tuning vertical integration and consolidating even more power than they had already accumulated in the first few decades of the 20th century. Vertical integration in Hollywood historically is a system of controlling the production, distribution, and exhibition of outputs, effectively cornering all …

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Wrong Impressions: Satirist Really Feels He’s Making a Difference

A local satirist has spoken about his work and the worthwhile contribution he feels he is making. “I just feel at this time, when America is so divided and we’re heading towards possibly the biggest election of our lifetime, the most important thing I can do is write snarky headlines about both sides.” “While others are doing their part by protesting an authoritarian, fascist government, or helping the poor and desolate during a time of unprecedented hardship for this country, I’m making up little jokes about Joe Biden being a little bit slow in his old age. I really feel …

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Too Much and Never Enough

“The story mattered more than the truth…” This simple fact that we’ve all learned to be true of Donald J. Trump countless times underlies the true essence of what Dr. Mary Trump has to say about her uncle. The story he believes, the story he tells, the story he repeats time and time again is always more important than the truth. Out of respect for Dr. Mary Trump, clinical psychologist and author of the book, I will refer to her simply as Trump, more deserving of the formal respect than the president whom I will only call Donald from here …

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Wrong Impressions: Obama on being President “What I miss most are the drone strikes”

Former President Barack Obama gave an interview to NBC last Saturday, during which he looked back on his presidency and also ahead to the November election. "What I miss most (about being president) are the drone strikes. God, they were fun. I used to fly remote control planes when I was younger - drone strikes are a lot like that; Except for all the innocent foreign people dying." Obama added that the Republican party weren't a fan of his drone strikes "Republicans prefer the whole invasion angle with American boots on the ground. I like drones - You can watch …

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Every Taylor Swift Album as a Republican Politician

Taylor Swift recently released Folklore, her eighth studio album. In honour of this, we thought we’d compare every Taylor Swift album to a Republican politician. The below results were calculated with the help of key Republican think tanks and are completely scientific and factual in every way.* Folklore - Dwight D. Eisenhower  Folklore is being praised for its maturity and particularly relaxed style. So, when looking at all the Republican politicians on the list, Dwight is the natural choice. He was a moderate who continued economic programmes from the New Deal, including expanding social security. He, like Folklore, had an inner strength to him that …

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The Presidential Candidate is Missing – A Political Strategy

On a recent episode of our podcast we discussed the political thriller The President Is Missing, written by Bill Clinton and James Patterson, in which the president does indeed go missing for 36 hours. By contrast, President Donald Trump is never out of the spotlight – be that in person or via Twitter. For many people in America, Trump is considered not only dangerous and embarrassing, but also exhausting.By comparison, Joe Biden is much lower energy and this contrast may prove advantageous in November's election. While Trump uses this seeming lack of exertion against Biden – calling him "Sleepy Joe" …

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Wrong Impressions: Steal His Look: Unidentified Federal Agent

Summer’s hottest new fashion trend is unquestionably the Unidentified Federal Agent. Captured here on a late-night jaunt with some friends, this Unidentified Federal Agent can’t wait to kidnap your heart. Dressed head-to-toe in the chicest camo, you’ll have no trouble standing out in the urban setting of Portland, drawing all eyes nationwide to your dominating fashion sense.  Finish the look with a light dusting of tear gas to really make your eyes pop before jumping into an unmarked van and patrolling your community for hot singles. First impressions matter, so make sure not to say anything before throwing your next …

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Wrong Impressions: How to Learn History in a Post-Statue World

One of the biggest concerns of late is the threat against our education system. All around the country, statues of slave-owners, Confederate generals, genocidal perpetrators, and general home-grown racists have been taken down in the name of “social justice,” leaving many Americans to ask, “How, now, will we learn history?” The question is an imperative one. How, without the visual depictions of historical icons, will we as a society remember history? How is it okay to erase history in this way? Citizens and historians alike are baffled, but one expert sees a light at the end of the tunnel.  Professor …

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Wrong Impressions: Trump to Honour the Confederacy by Simply Giving Up When Faced With the COVID Crisis

President Donald Trump has declared a new strategy in the fight against the COVID crisis: giving up. “The Confederacy was great; really, really great. It’s an important part of our history and those lousy, do-nothing Democrats want us to forget about it. Can you believe that? It’s really sad. But not me. That’s why I’m announcing that a core tenet of the Confederacy – giving up and waving a white flag – will be our new strategy for fighting against COVID. And we’ll get the best white flags. Beautiful flags. And by doing this we are ensuring that COVID will …

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