President Donald Trump has declared a new strategy in the fight against the COVID crisis: giving up.

“The Confederacy was great; really, really great. It’s an important part of our history and those lousy, do-nothing Democrats want us to forget about it. Can you believe that? It’s really sad. But not me. That’s why I’m announcing that a core tenet of the Confederacy – giving up and waving a white flag – will be our new strategy for fighting against COVID. And we’ll get the best white flags. Beautiful flags. And by doing this we are ensuring that COVID will do something that not even the Confederacy did: last longer than 4 years,” said President Trump during an address in front of over 500,000 people at a campaign rally in the Rose Garden of the White House.

Democratic Party nominee Joe Biden has responded to this new plan by saying he’ll also do nothing, but he’ll get a woman to do it. “Has anyone seen my slippers?” Biden added.

Wrong Impressions is of course satire. The real world is much crazier.

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